Do you have those days, days when you open your eyes and think “What am I doing here, I don’t want to get up, I don’t want to get out of bed, and I don’t want to do anything”. It would seem that I am having one of those lives.
I wake this morning, not feeling refreshed or invigorated like I should after a good 7.5hrs sleep, but then again I can’t remember the last time that I woke feeling fresh. I suspect it was a very long time ago. Drag myself to the shower; catch a brief glimpse of my naked self in the bathroom mirror and promise myself that I will stick rigidly to the Lite N Easy thing I have signed up for. How the hell did I get so fat? Surely it has nothing to do with the over eating, over drinking, over binging lifestyle that I have lead for the past, what 25 years. Yes well now you shall suffer the consequences Oh Porky One. It also does not help that at the office we have delicious morning teas each fortnight under the guise of a branch meeting. Each section takes turns and prepares a gourmet feast and of course I over eat EVERY time.
Often I am heard lamenting “Why am I so fat, Oooh yum donuts”!
Shower finished, towelling dry, DO not look in the mirror and upset yourself again. Take 5 tablets, 2 prescribed 3 complimentary. The 2 prescribed ones are the official drug of choice for most menopausal women, Zoloft; this drug will apparently alleviate mood swings and put one on a more even keel it should also prevent you from putting a pair of scissors through your HTPs head. No one bothers to tell you a few of the other side effects, none of them pleasant or appreciated by the HTP. I did say to my Dr, “I don’t think my happy pills are working, I still hate everyone and everything and seem to be annoyed 23 hours out of 24! Dr E advised that this was probably just my general makeup. The complimentary medicine, ah yes, MACCA no not McDonalds but some root powder that the Inca’s used and it supposedly helped their menopausal women, it has a few other benefits according to the bottle but I can’t say I am feeling the love. I also take a hair, skin and nail concoction, am I seeing results, NO in fact my nails are possibly in the worst shape of their lives, they have ridges and seem to be brittle and peeling, my hair resembles a steelo pot scrubber and my skin suffers horribly from ingrown hairs, white heads, blackheads and the most exciting thing of all, skin tags. These seem to be just popping out of me, under my arms, on my back, chest and one on my face, WTF. Again, according to Dr E this quite normal for menopausal women. Just a little something for you non meno women to look forward to.
Finding something to wear to the office, grroooaaannn, skirts and pants that fitted quite nicely last week are beginning to feel snug, bloody hell, outfits that I thought looked quite nice on last week now look hideous and there is no way I can leave the house looking like that. It is bad enough having horrid hair but having horrid hair and a cr*p outfit, that will surely put me in an even worse mood. Black pants and finally I select a white shirt from the 30 that I own. Whilst I quickly inspect my garden out the back I have a cigarette and think to myself, You are going to die, STOP, I sip my black coffee and stake out a caterpillar with toothpicks, this is a warning to its friends, If you come into this garden and eat these plants you will die. I can’t say it is working but they sure don’t like pyrethrum! Back to the bathroom to dry my hair, oh god I hate my hair, I have had a succession of terrible haircuts over the past 6 months I don’t think I am explaining what I want properly. Mind you one of these not so flattering haircuts came from the hairdresser that has been doing my hair for 4 years, surely she should know by now how I like my hair but apparently not. Speaking of which I recently went to a Ball and so went and had my hair done, just a wash and a blow wave and a bit of a trim to fix what the hairdresser over the weekend managed to butcher. “There” she said “what do you think”. My response was, “When in the past 4 years have I ever had my hair like that.” “Oh yes she said I really should know that by now shouldn’t I. Yes you should I thought as I paid my $80 and thought for the 100th time I am so not going back, I must find a new hairdresser.
The blow wave is finished and my hair looks sort of OK, I had yet again another trim over the weekend but this time it seems she has given it a bit more shape but alas it is too long on top therefore it is to heavy and won’t sit nicely, well it will for a bit but then gets heavy and flops.
I grab the Lite N Easy from the fridge (mental note to self, DO NOT BUY HOT CHIPS AT LUNCHTIME) get into the car and begin the drive to the office. The speed limit is 90 or 100 all the way to my office, it is a good road, a little bit of congestion here and there where there are traffic lights but given I leave so early it is a reasonably good run to work and should therefore be a reasonably stress free drive in. NO, this is not the case. Where do these people get their drivers licences, Kellogg’s packets or Lucky Dips? Mark Parton is prattling on, he really is annoying but given the awful choice of breakfast radio here in our Nation’s capital he is the best of a bad bunch. P plate drivers whizz in and out and get annoyed when I won’t increase my speed to 110 in a 90 zone; young female drivers seem to be the worst offenders. Every day I pray that the traffic police will be there booking all those idiots and boosting our ACT coffers with revenue but no they are not to be seen. I park and begin the short walk to the office. My first challenge is to cross Melrose Drive without being skittled either by cars or MAMLs (middle aged men in lycra) on push bikes that come hurtling along either the road or the footpath. Every single day I witness hideous driving, impatience and very questionable driving decisions, I dart across the road and within minutes I am in the office.
I should walk up the stairs I think to myself as I hit the button that calls the lift. Coffee machine on, breakfast, turn on my computer. Check the various email boxes that I manage and load the various database systems that I use each day. Truly, gripping, stuff. The past few weeks have been quite due to caretaker and given that Mr Abbott is only the Prime Minister Elect it looks like we will be quiet for another week ot two. Once he is sworn in I imagine things will pick up. The next 8 hours are OK, I surf the net a little bit, annoy D2 about my new blog (yes this one). Today I was meant to have lunch with a friend but this is the type of friend who constantly bails, we all have them, they say they will come to whatever it is you invite them to and you know damn well that they will not come as something always happens. Surprise, she bailed again. The day passes pleasantly enough. I usually spend the day keeping to myself, I mean I say good morning to most people and most people respond but then there is always that one person in every office who you wish was not in your office. This person is mean, nasty, slightly unfortunate looking, cannot cook and it would appear that this person dislikes me intensely and to top it off wears very ugly shoes. If anyone else in the office has noticed then no one has said anything.
At around 5pm I leave the office for another day, walk to my car wondering what will happen when I get home. As for what happens next, that is for another Blog let’s call it – A night in my life