2015 A new beginning or just the same old same old?

Hmmmm i had great plans for 2015. So far not a single one has panned out. Be healthy, bah humbug, Ive eaten more crap than I care to admit and for some strange reason I continue to wonder why I am gaining weight. I will rid myself of the people that seem to suck the very life out of me, and yet I have plans to dine with said people on Monday night. I won’t work such hideous hours, pfft, I am so full of it. The only reason I’ve worked less hours this year is that I came down with shingles, what a horrid thing that is. And so whilst I was recuperating from that I trod on not one but two very sharp rocks and ended up with two huge blisters on my left foot. One of which became infected so badly that I had to go onto antibiotics and have spent the past week limping and having to wear thongs to the office. A most unattractive and unprofessional look. Thank god I have a boss who thinks I am fabulous and is just greatful that I turn up.

i am in a bad place right now and I shouldn’t be, but I am. My husband is wonderful but for how much longer he will put up with a seemingly foul tempered, overweight cow, I just don’t know. ¬†My grand babies whom I adore are thankfully still at the age where they think their nanny is wonderful. I miss my baby girl so much, she is so far away and when I call I get her answering service when all I want to hear is her happy wee voice.

What is it that I need to get myself on the straight and narrow. I spoke to my little brother tonight, he is 44 and still getting stoned, he is married with two grown boys, he has responsibilities and yet instead of getting his car registered he chooses to buy dope. He knows it makes him severely depressed and at times suicidal and yet he continues to do it. ¬†Perhaps I am just as bad but my vice Is food and not dope. But it gives me something else to worry about and I do. I worry about him deeply and I so want to help him, but I am out of puff so to speak. I’ve spent hours in the phone with him, spoken to councillors and Drs, but to no avail. Perhaps he really does not want help, perhaps he is content being the proverbial Peter Pan.

enough is enough, tomorrow is another day. No doubt I shall have the headache from hell given the silly amount of booze I have consumed tonight. However, it is and will be a new day and a panadine will take away the headache that awaits me.