I’m hot, alot, I wish I was not!

For two years I have been hot and flushing and according to an article I read yesterday I may very well remain hot and flushing for another 12 years or even worse for the rest of my life. I hate it, a deep ugly hate. These flushes hit regularly, I can feel them coming on and then I feel the perspiration running down my face, through my hair, down my back and I see it beading on my hands and arms. Sometimes it looks like I have dipped my hands in water, that is how wet they get. I have spoken to my Dr so many times and she tut tutts me and assures me it will be over soon. After one particularly horrid “melt down” in her office she said, I had no idea they were so bad, my response was a rather terse, I have been telling you they are horrid for 12 months. months. Finally HRT patches were prescribed, I thought thank goodness. Well what a mistake that was. Whilst Dr advised that periods would again be apart of my life what she did not mention was that one may bleed constantly until your body gets used to it. We were about to embark on 8 weeks in Thailand soaking up the sun and relaxing on the beach, hardly fun when one is constantly worried about periods so that was the end of that. I did actually find the patches in the fridge yesterday as I was tossing out uneaten left overs. I really should give them another go. Perhaps they just might improve my dispostion which I do believe is not as sunny as I would like it to be.

Today

Today was hard, so hard. It started with me using the snooze button 4 times this morning and went downhill from there.

Work is frantic and I thank god for my assistant Robyn. She is like some kind of sweet angel given to me by my boss who knows my workload is unsustainable. But alas due to red tape she has no access to any of our systems and she has been there a week. One would think that working for the Government they would have their shit all in place but no. And let’s not talk about the biartch that expected me to fix the photocopier or the whining that we had run out of A3 paper ( there were hundreds of reams upstairs, but it would seem that it is not their job to go get it but mine) anyway I bit the bullet and said no, get it yourself. Yay me.

then we have the property manager from hell, our tenant wants compensation as the security door on the garage has not been operational for 11 weeks now. I understand the tenants frustration. I doubt she realises I have spent many hours as a member of the executive committee trying to get this issue resolved, but no she wants to take us to court. Solved that wee problem with a $100 gift voucher. Another Yay to me. but now have annoyed husband who does not think we should have given her anything. Sometimes I don’t understand him but I shall talk to him more about that when he arrives home on Thursday evening.

I left work early to drop off dry cleaning, we’ve been using the same dry cleaner since they went into business 4 years ago. Today was the first time ever I asked for an overnighter, I was told no Saturday or nothing, since the other two dry cleaners closed down they are to busy. I compromise and leave one pair of military pants and take the others home to launder myself and have ready for Friday. a win of sorts I guess, Yay me.

Surgeon appointment, I will need surgery, they will shave the bone of my left shoulder to take away the spur that is impinging it, sew the tear in the rotor cuff and remove scar tissue from the severely inflamed tendon in my left shoulder. This is a workers compensation claim from me foolishly trying to save a filing cabinet several years ago. Comcare the insurer are being less than cooperative. My worry now is not really the cost of surgery but the 4-6 months off work I will require to get over the surgery and rehabilitation with the thought that I will not get paid. That will put an enormous strain on our budget. I am trying most unsuccessfully to not worry until a determination is made but it does worry me. Not quite a win there.

My dope addicted little brother wants to borrow money yet again, he can afford to buy drugs but not pay car registration. Go figure! I had to say no. Again not quite a win as I feel so bad not being able to help him but such is life and I shall try to put that one in a basket for another day.

our dear friends husband was rushed to hospital and is in intensive care, there is still no diagnosis and his wife and family are very worried as are we. If you have time, perhaps a word or two to a higher power might help. Thanks for that.

tomorrow is another day and it will be better. How do I know that. Well, in the midst of all this chaos today I found a little envelope in my fruit bowl and in that envelope was a card from my eldest daughter. She had written such beautiful words of love, saying how lucky she was to have me as her mother and how lucky her three babies were to have me as their Nanny and how much she appreciated the support and love that I give to her and her family always. I cried and cried because today I needed to find a wee note like that.

and I am lucky, my husband and I have 30 years under our belt, he’s been to two wars and had a brain tumour and survived, he loves me and I love him. We have two beautiful daughters and three sensation grand babies who light up my life. We have a truly wonderful son in law and a future son in law who love our daughters and treat them well. So whilst today was not perfect, I guess it really wasn’t that bad either.