Some days you just need to cry

Do you have days like that? I am having one today.

I miss my Mum, she passed away on her 79th birthday in 2007 and I miss her, oh how I miss her. I miss her soothing voice, I miss her smell, I miss her laugh, I miss holding her hand. I know I am so lucky, we had such a wonderful relationship, we could sit for hours, chatting, laughing, just being together. I want her to meet my grand babies, I know she “sees” them as my grand daughter talks about her all the time and mum had passed away several years before she was born. Sure I have photos and memories but what I would give for one more hug.

I miss my Dad. He lives 4 hours away and we talk nearly everyday, we try to get up to see him once a month but it is always such a rush and he is getting on and he is getting forgetful, I would dearly love him to move closer to us but he won’t leave the home he and my mum shared for 50 years and I do get that. I cry because my brothers just don’t get it, they live so close but it will be weeks before they think to pop in or give him a call. He tells me it does not bother him but I know it does and so I shed a few more tears.

I cry over Tara who was murdered so brutally by someone who was a friend and I cry some more because before ICE he was a fun guy, a happy guy and  I cry for the 3 children that now have no mother to hug, love and cherish them.

i cry because I want nothing but the best for the wee village I have created. My baby girl is so far away and I miss her, terribly. I cry because I love my grand babies so much.

i cry because at the moment I can’t be the strong woman I usually am. I am tired of pain, drugs, Drs visits, specialists visits and I cry because I want it gone.